Er. Mudit Kansal
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Mudit Kansal.com - Sardar Jokes
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A Sardar received an invitation, to a party
which said “Black Tie Only”!!
When he went to the party he was surprised to
find the other invitees wearing trousers and shirts
as well !!!!
Original
Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men
Couldn’t put Humphty Dumphty
together again
Punjabi Translation:
Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te’
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.
Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says “Johny Walker single”.
Man on his left says “Peter Scotch single”.
Sardar says - “Baljith Singh Married”
Sardarji got the fourth child.
He fills data in the birth certificate.
“Mother: Sikh.
Father: Sikh.
Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”
” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”
A furniture dealer decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to abroad to see what he could find.
After arriving some other country he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home.
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.
Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something which he did not understand and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.
He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.
To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.
A Sardar was drawing money from ATM, Sardar behind him in the line said, “Ha! Ha! Haaa! I’ve seen your password.”
Its 4 asterisks (****).
The first Sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong, Its “1258″.
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.
Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?
Waiter: Woh langra tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga sardar tha…
Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.
He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
“When will Punjab Express go from here”?
Man Replies, 10.30.
“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?
Man Replies, 12.30.
Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.
Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks
Teacher to Sardar: “Where were U born?”
Sardar: In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher: Spell it?
Sardar: (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.
A sardar wins the Texas lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Our sardar says, “I want my $20 million now.”
The man replies, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”
The sardar replies, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it now.”
Again, the man repeats the explanation. The sardar, now furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my $20 back!”
A sardar wins the Texas lottery.
He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Our sardar says, “I want my $20 million now.”
The man replies, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”
The sardar replies, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it now.”
Again, the man repeats the explanation. The sardar, now furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my $20 back!”
Four sardars wanted to open an auto repair shop.
They bought the best car servicing equipment and soon inaugurated the repair shop.
They all waited eagerly on the inaugural day; but no customer arrived. A couple of days passed, there were no cars that came in for repairs.
A week, then a month went by, there were no cars.
After all, how could cars come in, the sardars had put up their garage on the second floor.
Sardar joined a new job. On the very first day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked him what he did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that Saradars are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A Saradar works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 or 20 seconds he says, “Eighteen!” Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 Saradars start cheering, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give him another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds he eventually says, “Ninety?” The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened - the Saradar starts crying and the 80,000 men begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance– What is 2 plus 2?”
The man closes his eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 Saradars jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…
“Give him another chance! Give him another chance!”
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
and…. she is my kidney.
Boss: Where were you born ?
Sardarji: Oye Punjab.
Boss: Which part?
Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab
Two Sardars looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case!
Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai :BC-1760!!
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