Er. Mudit Kansal
  Er. Mudit Kansal
Mudit Kansal.com - Santa Banta Jokes

  Home
  => Santa Banta Jokes
  => Doctor Jokes
  => Children Jokes
  => Sardar Jokes
  => Jokes
  News
  Polls
  CONTACT
  CALL ME
  GALLERY
  MEERUT DARSHAN
  Important Links
  Software
  Hardware
  Networking
  Counter
  Guestbook
  Keyboard F1 - F12 function keys
  Basic PC shortcut keys
  Internet Explorer shortcut keys
  Microsoft Windows shortcut keys
  Microsoft Word & Excel shortcut keys& mouse
  Table of Keyboard shortcuts
  Tally Help keys
  Knowledge of Share Market
  Gopal ji Products
  Photoshop
  Photoshop 7 Shortcut Keys
  English Speaking
  Baby names
  music
  MIcrosoft Word 2007 Shortcut Key
  developed website
  Customer Care Numbers
  Peace of Mind

संता और बंता

 

संता (बंता से)- एक खेत को 6 मजदूर दो दिन में जोतते हैं। तीन मजदूर कितने दिन में जोतेंगे?

बंता (संता से)- तुम पागल हो क्या, जूते हुए खेत को फिर क्यों जोते?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

संता (बंता से)- बंता मैं तुम्हारे एटीएम का पासवर्ड जान गया हूं।

बंता (संता से)- अच्छा, जरा बताना क्या है मेरा पासवर्ड?

संता- चार स्टार है..

बंता- नहीं, मेरा पासवर्ड तो 2321 है।

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

डाकू (संता से)- या तो जान दो या रुपया जितना तुम्हारे पास है।

संता (डाकू से)- नहीं जी तुम मेरी जान ले लो, रुपया तो मैंने बुढ़ापे के लिए रख छोड़ा है।

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

संता (बंता से)- यार बचपन में मैं बीस मंजिली इमारत से गिर गया था।

बंता (संता से)- बच गया या मर गया?

संता- याद नहीं बहुत पुरानी बात है।

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

संता (बंता से)-घड़ी और पत्नी में अंतर बताओ।

बंता (संता से)- एक बिगड़ती है तो बंद हो जाती है.. और दूसरी बिगड़ती है तो शुरू हो जाती है। 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek sardar doosre se keh raha hai ke “Maine machcharo ko ullu banaya !”

Second Sardar: “Kaise?

mosquito-coil.jpg

First says: Maine mosquito coil mere bajuke room mein lagaya aur main apne room mein soya. ha ha ha ha…..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.

smalltv.jpg

Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.

“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less T.V.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SANTA : “When you buy a note book there will be no margin in it. Why is it so?”

margin.jpg

BANTA : “Simple, it is because I always buy the note book from a Margin-Free Market!!”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.

23.jpg

Santa : “My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can’t you carry even this much?”

Banta : “But yours is empty and my disk is full”!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?

propose.jpg

Girl: Tameez se baat karo.

Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karogi?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna enjoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets

tcikets1.jpg

Jeeto: Why Three?

Santa:
For you and your parents
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyun ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

knife.jpg

Banta: Toh phir ubalne kyu, kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Entrance exam of santa

Have you heard of Mr. Santa Singh applying to a medical school to become a doctor ?

 

Needless to say he never made it. You know why?

These are the answers he wrote in his entrance exam.

Antibody - Against everyone
Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - A district in Rome.
Cardiology - Advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan - Searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - Neck of a crow.
Coma - Punctuation mark.
Cortisone - Area around local court.
Cyst - Short for sister.

Diagnosis - Person with slanted nose.
Dilate - The late British Princess Diana.
Dislocation - In this place.
Duodenum - Couple in blue jeans.

doctorr.jpg

Enema - Not a friend.

Fake labour - Pretending to work.

Genes - Blue denim.

Hernia - She is close by.

Impotent - Distinguished/well known.

Labor pain - Hurt at work.
Lactose - People without toes.
Lymph - Walk unsteadily.

Microbes - Small dressing gown.

Obesity - City of Obe.

Pacemaker - Winner of Nobel peace prize.
Proteins - In favor of teens.
Pulse - Grain.
Pus - Small cat.

Red blood count
- Dracula.

Secretion - Hiding anything.

Tablet - Small table.

Ultrasound - Radical noise
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa: I am going ka matlab batao.

Banta: Main ja raha hoon.

boys.jpg

Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
See the balancing

Ek baar ek kavi sammelan chal raha tha. Bhaut se kavi bore kar rahe they. Ek sardar se jab nahi raha gaya toh woh khud stage par aaya aur bola ab suniye.

Ek kutta… Loge bole wah wah
Sardar phir bola Ek kutta, kutte ke uper kutta

clipboard03.jpg

Log phir bole wah wah wah
Sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kuttey,
Unkey oper 3 kutte, Ab log silent ho gaye thodi der baad ek aur sardar bole wah wah

Manch wala sardar phir bola kutta, kutte ke oper 2 kute, unke oper 3 kutte, unkey oper 4 kutte

Audience sardar pareshan hokar bola, bhai ye kaun sa sher hua? Manch wala sarda bola, abe tu sher mat sun tu balancing ko dekh….
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
thanks for visit my website This website was created for free with Own-Free-Website.com. Would you also like to have your own website?
Sign up for free